An update, ways to help, images and a poem
A quick update on tests and ways to help, and a poem to accompany a moment from Montana.
Notes on help, meds, and a postcard from -20
Hanna is about to start a new medication, and an MG-specific EMG test happens in early March. We offer some useful resources on "help," and send greetings from Montana, where it is -20F.
Update: How’s Hanna, and doctor stuff
The diagnostic process continues, and meanwhile life goes on. I find the "a monster has moved into the house" metaphor to be useful. Details about ways to support Hanna are coming soon!
Mid-meds check-in
I am doing well. I started full doses of MG meds last week, and feel slightly better. But my energy is zapped. More doctor visits in Feb and March. My three learning edges: income, a web of care, and receiving help.
Gratitude 35
GRATITUDE FOR BRINGING THE LIGHT - There was no “happy” in my birthday this year. My mind went to the dark basement where questions flutter like bats. But you. You brought the light.
Diagnosis still in process, and a challenging possibility
Details of what we learned from Hanna's EMG and battery of blood tests. This is probably not Myasthenia Gravis, but the next two weeks are needed to confirm that. There is a much more difficult possibility, uncertain but necessary to begin considering.
Gratitude 34
GRATITUDE FOR ANGER - When she comes home, the anger has congealed around her throat.
She feels vulnerable and sidelined. A second anger takes her back to childhood. The third anger spans the decade of her marriage....
Gratitude 33
GRATITUDE FOR NEW "WHAT IF" QUESTIONS - I sit with too many sad questions. “What if I didn’t get ill? What if money was abundant? What if I lose my ability to hold a pen and crosshatch?” I look at my life for evidence of abundance and new “what if” questions. Here is my starting list...
Closer to diagnosis
Hanna visited a neuromuscular specialist today. Next steps: a round of blood tests that look for many different kinds of indicators, intended to support or eliminate possible diagnoses. And an EMG test—electromyography—which will happen next Friday. After that, the doctor expects to be able to make a diagnosis.
Gratitude 32
GRATITUDE DESPITE DISHEVELMENT - When I woke up on the first of January I felt feral, like I too wanted to jump the fence. On the second of January I felt stranded by my lack of energy. On the third of January I felt worried about making a living with this life.