FOR WHAT WE DON'T HAVE - We went to lake Erie on Sunday and swam for hours. But we weren’t alone in the waters. There were sneaky parasites looking to make their home in ducks. But because we are hot bodied too, they mistook us and burrowed into our skins.

GRATITUDE AND AVERSION - Today I get an MRI. The first one in my life! And I feel both a rush of gratitude and aversion...

FOR POSSIBILITY - The ENT doctor with his curly grey hair and grey eyes looks at me with tenderness. His face mask is shaped like a duck bill, which makes this moment more endearing. “Do you have people that care about you in Pittsburgh?” He asks knowing I’m an immigrant. “I do.” I say.

FOR ALL THE HANDS THAT HELP ME - “I’m fine, mamma” I say as tears flow over my chin and collect on my woolen turtleneck. My mom takes a breath on the other side of the phone, on the other side of the world. “Sometimes we need to be honest, Hanna. You are not fine.”