Hanna reflects on a streak of incredibly difficult weeks, doubly pressed by health issues and "obligations" of self-care. Eat or be eaten. A return to better health doesn't remove all of the challenges, but it does bring firm resolve to LIVE.

Created for a writer's workshop, this example of "hermit crab writing" uses the form of a bureaucratic questionnaire as the vehicle for difficult questions about needing and receiving care.

GRATITUDE FOR BRINGING THE LIGHT - There was no “happy” in my birthday this year. My mind went to the dark basement where questions flutter like bats. But you. You brought the light.

GRATITUDE FOR ANGER - When she comes home, the anger has congealed around her throat. She feels vulnerable and sidelined. A second anger takes her back to childhood. The third anger spans the decade of her marriage....

GRATITUDE FOR NEW "WHAT IF" QUESTIONS - I sit with too many sad questions. “What if I didn’t get ill? What if money was abundant? What if I lose my ability to hold a pen and crosshatch?” I look at my life for evidence of abundance and new “what if” questions. Here is my starting list...

GRATITUDE DESPITE DISHEVELMENT - When I woke up on the first of January I felt feral, like I too wanted to jump the fence. On the second of January I felt stranded by my lack of energy. On the third of January I felt worried about making a living with this life.

PRACTICE BEING IN UNCERTAINTY - I don’t like this grasping feeling I have and yet here it is. I really, really, really want to know. We underscore the importance of developing a capacity to dwell in uncertainty, but in this moment my body bristles with frustration only a test result will soothe.

FOR TENDERNESS - The door to the scan room is wide and the steel door jamb looks like it belonged to a bank safe. The yellow “Caution Radiation” sign has me feel a bit uneasy. When the door swings open, a platinum blonde woman waves me in....